A question almost all people considering divorce ask themselves is should I reconcile? You are an older and much wiser person now with a few experiences here and there and now you have a huge decision to make.

Your wish to reconcile is often in the wasted attempt to live the dream. It is to try to revive passions that he once felt and hope that you can regain all those feelings from the beginning. We want to have another chance, a new beginning another role at the dice.

But then again maybe reconciling not your own choice, but it is force on you like a giant heaping pile of dirty laundry. It may be forced on you by silent and sad children. Forced on you maybe buy a sad spouse, one that is full of promises and also full of needs much larger than your own. These feelings can also be forced upon you by your religion, family and common traditions.

Should I reconcile? Should I accept all the pain, the hurt, and just ended? To have the courage to face the unknown, or is it just more comfortable to be in this familiar hole? Yup, you’re older, wiser and now I’m a big decision to make.

How to decide

Grab a blank sheet of paper, any paper really, and if you’re so inclined you can make a spreadsheet or flowchart, it doesn’t matter the medium. On the top draw one line, and down the center another line. At the top on the left side right this word, stay. On the other side right move on.

Three things are going to happen.

– You are going to come to a decision

– You will have a much clearer understanding of your issues

– You’ll have to start of a course of action

By staying together you have decided on taking the action of making a strong commitment to your marriage. You must realize that this is not your commitment alone. Every troubled relationship has issues on both sides to resolve. It is not smart travel the easy path by avoiding the issues. Attack them head on. Then the hard work and honesty, without that often couples will fall back into their old habits. It is recommended that couples attend joint marriage counseling, and also in some cases financial counseling.

Leaving means acceptance, and shuts the option of getting back into your marriage. Yes it will be sad, but it also frees you to look to a brighter future without this complication. If all else fails moving on can be the best thing for you and your family in the long run.